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The Happy Time Tabernacle Statement of Belief

Mistress TT reminded me late last night that I had forgotten to post Our Belief Statement.  Good lookin’ out Mistress....for those of you who have been asking for it, here it is:

The Happy Time Tabernacle Statement of Belief

Our Faith stands on the sacrifices made by our ingenious, culturally creative ancestors: blues shouters, jazz improvisers, groove masters, soul singers, funky dancers, writers, poets, rhyme sayers, and original signifiers.

We believe that the The Great Book of Soul, which contains the sum total of all of the rhymes, lyrics, limerics, stories, poems, toasts and boasts ever sung, shouted, hollered, scatted or stated in a blues, jazz, RnB, calypso, mambo, soul or doo-wop song, is the only infallible, authoritative Word of the Stanktidy.

We believe in Being on the One, eternally and forever revealed in the persons of The Godfather of Soul, St. George of Clinton and St. Sly of the Stone.

We believe that the hard work and sacrifices of all The Saints of Soul Music are Sacred Sacraments, in the dues that they paid, in the doors they knocked down, in the blood, sweat and tears that they shed, in spite of the hardships of humiliation that they faced, and in the Return of live music played by real living musicians to popular demand.

We believe that resuscitation by the power of the African Holy Ghost is absolutely essential for the body to move with the groove and get down and dance in a polyrhythmic trance, and that this is the Gift of the Gut Bucket.

We believe in the ministry of Funky Music which does indeed dwell within those who recognize the Stanknasity when they see it, which did cause the Bump to be, and in those Saints empowered by all things groovy.

We believe that True Evil exists in the form of media monopolies and multi-national corporate interests which seek to control the master tapes of all recording artists, in radio station franchises that play the same tired songs over and over; and that these Evil Doers will one day be defeated by independent artists who do control and distribute their own products over the internet, and that these Evil Entities will soon be cast headlong into a Mighty Big Ditch of Doo-Doo.

We believe in the spiritual unity of all believers in the Everlasting Stanktidy, which is a Force of Funkatism that does bring people together irregardless of race, gender, nationality, economic class or credit history.

We believe that the Happy Time Tabernacle, Temple Number II, is the primary instrument of the Work of the Stank in the world, but that wherever there is a good juke joint, or a funky party, a high time can be had by all.

And lest I forget, the first Happy Land Tabernacle Time Radio Broadcast is actually here: Download htpilot.mp3 (35721.6K)

A Brief Word From Rev. Boogaloo

Just a few words of explanation about our first broadcast:

Our maiden „Happy Land Tabernacle Time“ radio show is a production of the Emergency Hoodoo Broadcasting Network.  As General Overseer of the Happy Time Tabernacle, Temple Number II, I’m so pleased to be able to share, with all of you, a glimpse into our Happy Time Tabernacle fellowship, our unwavering Faith, and as well as some of the Truths surrounding the Almighty and Everlasting Stanktity.

Our Happy Time Tabernacle covenant states thusly:

"Having been led, as we believe by the Spirit of the Stanktity, to receive the Sacrifice of the Sacrafism to keep us sane, fit and able, and on the profession of our Belief in The One, having been baptized in the name of Saint Muddy of the Waters, Saint George of Clinton, and Saint Stevie of Wonder, we do now, in the presence of the Godfather of Soul, and the Funkatism of Old, most seriously and joyfully enter into covenant with one another on The One, into The Stank Nasity.

We engage, therefore, by the aid of the African Holy Ghost to party together in Polyrhythmic unison; to strive for the advancement of this Tabernacle, in funkyness, jazzyness, soulfulness  and convenience; to promote its fame and fortune; to sustain its culture, literature, music, visual arts and dance moves; to contribute cheerfully and happily to the support of this ministry with our valuable vibes and energy, for the relief of the rhythmless, and the spreading of the Stanktafizzle throughout all the nations of the earth, and the planets surrounding it.

We also engage to maintain familiar and secret codes; to religiously educate our children about the history of the blues, jazz and Pan-African cultural production in general; to walk with rhythm in the street; to be fair minded in our dealings with the tone deaf, funky in our performances, and exercise three times a week with heavy weights; to avoid all tattling, backstabbing, and excessive boredom; to abstain from the sale and use of destructive ideals such as racism and xenophobia, to run around buck-ball-naked as often as possible, and to be zealous in promoting Independent Artists and Culture Workers Around the World.

We moreover engage that when we leave this website, we will, as soon as possible, find another website that seeks to unite the peoples of the world with the Power of Stank Nasty Funky Music, where we can carry out the Spirit of this Covenant and the Principles within The Book Of Soul."

So what'cha waiting for?!?  Download the show at this link: Download htpilot.mp3 (35721.6K) and get a swivel in your hip that'll make your backbone slip!!!!